


The Diary of Karkat Vantas

by ShouMarufuji



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Diary, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-12
Updated: 2012-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-29 09:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShouMarufuji/pseuds/ShouMarufuji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas has started college, and, for a reason not even he wants to know, starts a diary. But, as he continues to write, he notices a change between his best friend Eridan and his room-mate Sollux's relationship, which he begins to track. However, not even they notice the tiny changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Diary of Karkat Vantas

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I decided to toy with. As Karkat is a relationship expert, why not notice small changes in a romance from afar? Set in England. Oxford, to be precise. Yes, I had to.

Wow. Why am I keeping a fucking diary? Maybe it’s for my own amusement. Or for the amusement of whoever gets their shockingly despicable hands on this. If you so much as touch this, expect to be suffocated by your own pillow stuffed down your shitty excuse of a throat in your sleep.

Where do I even start? Oh, yeah. No shit. It’s the first day of university. Wow. What a fantastic way to start off the world’s worst diary. I don’t even fucking know how often I’ll update this. Whatever. Let’s start with the basics.

I’m majoring in Mathematics. What? Don’t you fucking laugh! My minor is ICT. I’m shit at it, yes. Don’t comment. But, I still love that shit. Almost as much as my amazing movies. …no, ’50 First Dates’ was not that shit. And almost as awe-inspiring as romance.

Shit. I’m sounding more metro by the second.

I’m rooming with the most annoying shitstain the galaxy will ever see. He’s cocky as hell. That smug fucking smirk. Just, everything you need to know about him is in that smirk. He thinks he knows every God-damn thing. He knows jack shit! When I told him my minor, he laughed his barely-there ass off. He then went off to go on his laptop, decorated with bee stickers – no, I’m not kidding – and a honey yellow Gemini symbol in the middle.

Sollux Captor, ladies and gentlemen.

Of course, as soon, as I could, I left that pitiful waste of my room to his bee-covered laptop. Probably emailing Mommy and Daddy about how great his school day was. Fucking brat. First stop – I agreed on meeting Eridan by his building. He’s one of my ‘bros’, so it was kind of a necessity.

When I found him, he was sporting some dumb horrible, horrible turtleneck and leaning against the wall. A black woollen thing, with purple patterns I didn’t bother to remember. It ‘ain’t mainstream, unlike the rest a these assholes’. His thick-rimmed black glasses sat on his nose, which I swear he doesn’t need. But, they’re prescription, apparently, so whatever. As he saw me, he smiled.

“Hey Kar,” he greeted, stepping away from the grey wall.  
“Yeah, hey,” I grumbled “What the fuck is that jumper?”  
“It’s goin’ against the mainstream.”  
“Well, in case you haven’t fucking noticed, everyone here is wearing your kind of shitty sweater.”  
“Wwoww Kar, there ain’t a need for a Negativve Nancy.”  
“With you? There’s every damn need.”

Eridan chuckled, and lead the way. I followed next to him. I guess it was a spontaneous look around the campus. Most people had already gone to their dorms, resting like young children after going to a theme park. I don’t know. It was unwinding. Eridan and I go way back. We met when we were 11. So, we’re pretty close. It makes me feel shit tons better knowing someone I can fucking tolerate is near to me. The one person who can actually calm me down after a hard day, or can talk to me about…whatever, really. Why am I explaining this to myself. This is retarded.

To be honest, I think we’re both nervous about a new school. As well as a brand-new area of the country. Like the ‘posh twats’ we are, we stayed in England, whilst the majority of our friends split off. But, I dunno. I can drop them in as they become relevant. Right now, it’s irrelevant.

“Kar?” he asked.  
“What?”  
“You wwent quiet.”  
“Wow, a guy doesn’t talk. Stop the presses, he’s automatically upset! Quick, hand that man a fucking tissue.”  
“Ain’t a need for sarcasm.”  
“’Ain’t’ a need for assumptions.”

Eridan rolled his eyes, and kept walking. It was a fucking quiet walk, but it made us both happier. It cleared my thoughts. It finally began to sink in. We were in university. We were adults. Shit. It was time to take some God-damn responsibility. And, in a way, we would.

I’m skipping the rest of the walk. Nothing else happened.

When I got back, the lazy piece of anal puss was still sitting as the bee-laden laptop, smiling like a moron at the screen. Aww, the guy has an internet girlfriend. Has she seen his face yet? That’d be an instant turn-off. It’s enough to make even the most golden-hearted gag. He ignored me. Thankfully.

That’s my whole day. I’m sitting in my new room for the next year. I have a feeling this will be a fan-fucking-tastic year. Sarcastic or not.


End file.
